Dogs and Their Voices

dog

I like dogs..and I might like them too much.

Honestly, I do not know what it is. I will approach strange dogs on the street, much to the dismay of anyone who is with me. “That dog might not be friendly!” Really? I think that the odds are overwhelmingly in my favor that the dog is friendly.

What is the ratio of unfriendly dogs to friendly ones? Gotta be like 1:100. I have approached hundreds of dogs and never been bit. Now I don’t suggest for people to go walking up to dogs all willy nilly – but I think you can get a good feeling about a dog as you approach it. I can at least.

When I go to a friends house I am likely to greet the dog more warmly than my actual friends. I obviously like my human friends more…but I still do it. Me walking into a house usually goes like this…

“Oh hey Mark, how’s it going man? Hey Sheila, you look nice!” then their dog emerges and…”DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZER! What’s up buddy? Who’s a good boy…who is a good boy?” Then if the dog is anything less than like 70 pounds I attempt to pick it up.

I think the picking it up thing stems from owning Chihuahuas for ages…I am used to picking them up. Attempting to pick up a Lab though is usually met with a bit of resistance – from owner and dog both. I still try. I think in the future my limit for picking up a dog would probably be around the Bulldog range. A little more compact than a Lab or something like that. Less chance of catching a stray paw to the face.

The worst is I can’t help but slip into a dog voice when greeting the dogs – we all have one but it is still embarrassing for anyone but the dog to hear. Even worse is I don’t have one all encompassing dog voice – that is ridiculous – how could all dogs have the same dog voice? I mean c’mon.

Something like a bulldog would have a low rolling voice, with a slight kermit like twinge. That is obvious.

Chihuahuas on the other hand would have a much higher voice, full of excitement and a slight mexican accent.

A lab would have a low voice as well – but more dopey than the bulldog. I am thinking of that big guy on that cartoon with the Smoggies – he had a bird on his head or something. His name and the show name escape me – but yeah something like that.

Oh wait, I know – ya know in The Goonies – when Sloth yells out “Hey you guuuuuys” that is pretty close to my lab voice.

Dog age also comes into factor when deciding on what do voice to use. A grey muzzle on a dog signifies dignity and wisdom to me – so the inflection in my voice must recognize that. A 12 year old lab isn’t going to sound like Sloth – that is ridiculous.

My last go to voice is for special dogs – if a dog is small and looks kind of different – like a small mutt – the size of a chihuahua but mixed so it looks completely different. All of those dogs receive a primordial dwarf style voice. Especially if they are scruffy. Smooth small non-chihuahuas would be more of a little boy voice.

Also most dogs can not pronounce words properly. Little known fact, but it is gospel. Some examples would be…L’s become R’s (sometimes). Like we have a Bulldog named Bella…BUT if she were to pronounce it – it would sound like Berra.

Sometimes W’s take the place of R’s as well, and G’s for T’s and D’s for S’s. “Frankie is a tough guy” might actually sound like “Fwankie id a tough duy”.

There is a pretty extensive science behind it all.

Some say I over think it. But I mean if I don’t think about dog dialect..who will?

The Man The Myth The Legend



  • Only because I used your dogs name.

  • Shannon

    OMG I LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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