Fantasy Football Tips To Win!

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It is that time of year once again…

The time of year where armchair athletes across the nation fire up the internet, print color coded spread sheets, sharpen the pencils and spend every waking hour preparing.

Yes it is FANTASY FOOTBALL season.  When old high school jocks from around the world channel their inner geek.  All memory of their taunting and teasing of people who created fake knights to slay fake monsters are forgotten as they build their fake teams to compete in fake leagues.

I love fantasy sports – but there is no justification for it not being a nerdy pursuit.  Grown men creating teams of players to battle each other.  I am sorry but this is Dungeons and Dragons for the sportos of the world.

That said these leagues can be great fun.  It gives married men across the world the chance to spend a night with their friends and do nothing but talk sports and drink beers all night.

It also allows for some good trash talking between friends – and hey you might even make a couple of bucks.

The only problem I see with fantasy sports is this…you may be forced to cheer against your favourite team. If I have a starting QB/RB/WR going against the Saints – I am violently torn between outcomes.  Usually I will just hope for the Saints to win 60-52.

I have been a part of two drafts this season and will be taking place in one more later.  For the 2009-2020 season I already have a couple hints:

1.  If you are doing a real person face to face draft, bring a piece of paper that lists all the people in the draft.  Under each name list all the positions being drafted for.  Scratch off the positions as people draft them.  Why is this important?

Well when I did my last draft I was able to quickly figure out everyone had already drafted a TE.  Therefore I was able to hold off on my TE pick, grabbing some big potential guys instead.  I picked my TE dead last and had a choice of Kevin Boss, Jeremy Shockey and Visanthe Shiancoe (SLEEPER PICK).  I went with Shockey because I am a Saints fan and had no Saints on my team.

2.  It was always a good move to get RB’s with your first two picks.  Well, now that a lot of teams are going with RB by committee approaches it isn’t always the best choice.  If you have a late 1st round pick you might even want to think about a WR.  Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson and Calvin Johnson are all poised to have huge years.  They are worth a late 1st round pick and definitely are 2nd round talents.

3.  Bring a clipboard and drinks if you do a face to face  draft.  You might be stuck sitting on the floor or a couch with no table.  You will look like the biggest nerd in the place if you are the only one to show up with a clipboard (like me last Wednesday).  However, those same people will deep down be wishing they had done it.  Also drafts can take a long time – bring something to wet your whistle.  Beer is never a bad choice. (I went with Diet Pepsi)

4. Play head games – Fantasy Football is a cerebral battle ground!  If someone asks you your opinion on a player you like – talk shit about them!  Mention you heard they had an injury or are battling for top spot on the teams depth chart.  Will you look like a dickhead if you do that and then take the player next pick?  Yes you will, a smiling dickhead with the player you wanted.

It also never hurts to get some self doubt going on.  Even if someone makes a good pick, don’t be beyond a quick hissing breath intake followed by “Wow, I had him going a couple rounds later.”  That stuff can work wonders.

5. Handcuffs!  If you take a big name RB it might be a good idea to pick up their backup near the end of the draft.  This is especially important if you draft someone who is known to be injury prone.  That way if your big name runner gets injured, you will have his backup, and not have to worry about someone else grabbing him on the waiver wire.  If you draft Brian Westbrook – you BETTER pick up LeSean McCoy at the end of he draft.  Other important handcuffs would be Chester Taylor in Minny and Darren Sproles in San Diego.

Fantasy Leagues are easily the best way to learn about a sport – so don’t be afraid to join one even if you are new to the world of Football.  The fact is, most fantasy Drafts are probably won by the annoying guy that has no idea what they are doing and takes a Kicker in Round 5.  I have noticed there is a direct correlation between the amount I research and the worse I do.

Good Luck!



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