Fat Joe: The Darkside Volume One Review

I don’t like Fat Joe.  If you really like him, I warn you I probably won’t like this album.  I definitely messed with Joey back in the day- I love JOSE.  But everything after that has been bleh.  Almost like Joey died with Pun.

The production listing looked insane though, so I will check it out.  I am sure by the end of the record I will be looking for an instrumental.  Again remember this is my very first spin of this album…my thoughts take longer than that to fully form.

1. Intro: Pretty cool beat.  I just don’t like Joey – rhymes are so simplified and Im not feeling his flow.  Decent intro though…I do wish producers would take car sirens out of their songs.  That shit can scare the hell out of you in the car.

2. Valley Of Death:
Beat started out hard then went soulful – really nice.  This sounds like it could have fit on Jay’s American gangster.  Oh except, Joe can not rhyme even a tiny fraction as good as even old Jay.  I don’t even mind Joe on this song though – he isn’t doing anything new but his story sounded interesting on this.

3. I Am Crack:
LOL@ the title. It reminds me of Trailer Park Boys “Randy, I am the liquor”.  This beat kind of fits with the last song – got a kind of blaxpoitation feel.  Joe is OK on this too really…if you can put up with the “I’m a rapper rapping as an inanmimate object”.  Hey at least he didn’t choose a gun.

4. Kilo: First listen and this might be one of fav songs of the year…I can’t believe I just typed that in a Fat Joe review.  I am a huge Clipse fan though so that might be why – them going back and forth is the best.  That vocal sample has been used on a Clipse song before (surprise, surprise).  Alright Cam’ron is a guilty pleasure for me too.

5. Rappers Are in Danger:
This sounded a bit dated to me at first, but the beat grew on me.  Not one of my fav songs so far, but the production has been real consistent on this album.  This is the weakest so far to me and it is still alright.  Fat Joe is not a great rapper to me, but he isn’t ruining this album at all.

6. Slow Down (feat. Jeezy): I like Jeezy so I hope this is good.  Actually I have heard this now that it starts.  Cool sample really.  An interesting flip of the Soul II Soul CLASSIC “Back To Life”.  This reminds me of that Snoop song that sampled Rob Base.  This song is gonna be stuck in my head.

7. If It Ain’t About Money feat. Trey Songz: Another beat that started with that 70’s soul feel, but then it went somewhere completely different.  Went all minimalist and then switched again adding some futuristic synths WTF.  Actually hell yeah I liked this..until the chorus anyways.  Not a huge fan of the chorus at all.  Might make this song one of the ones I skip…still 7 songs in and the first club song – that’s a new record for Joey.

8. No Problems (feat. Rico Love): Another futuristic beat that I am feeling.  I dunno if this will stand up to repeated listens but this beat is good.  In fact, this album has good production front to back.

9. How Did We Get Here feat. R. Kelly:
I dunno if this is for me…the beat is OK but a bit soft for me.  I dunno I am borderline on this, it is kind of corny, but Joey actually has some interesting lyrics here.  Gah, I dunno..I might like this but not sure yet.  I think my subconscious is battling my ears.  It’s like “Dude you CAN’T like these many songs on a Fat Joe album, you CAN’T!” but damn maybe I am so far…

10. Money Over Bitches:
LMAO I’m too old to listen to this bullshit.  I am officially too old to listen to songs that start off with “Fuck These Hoes, Fuck These Bitches”.  Shut up Fat Joe if you weren’t rich and famous you’d wife the first “hoe” that let you sniff her underwear.

11. Heavenly Father feat. Lil Wayne:
This beat is pretty cool so far, hope Weezy spits!  No singing pleeeease.  I really like this beat – cool vocal sample.  Again Joey isn’t ruining anything with his rhymes at all – sometimes I actually find myself listening to him.  BOOOOOOOOOO WTF @ only having a Weezy hook… He would have killed this if he rapped.

12. I’m Gone: Preemo sighting!  Cool typical Preemo beat – sounds great. Hmm of course 40 seconds in and Joey has just talked and sang.  I like how the beat is all happy go lucky then on some parts the beat gets this dark ominous turn.  Anyone who think Preemo still doesn’t have it is an asshole.  If that offended you, good.  One thing is too much of Joe singing and talking on this beat…song could have been 3 minutes long.

13. At Last Supremacy:
Was that Busta at first?  This beat is just OK to me.  It isn’t horrible but it is your typical generic dark beat.  Not for me…rapping on it is equally generic.

Wow, I liked this on my first spin a lot more than I thought I would.  Joey chilled out on the club songs this go around.  He was smart enough to get some great production too.  Big surprise here – but if you don’t like Joey this probably won’t make you a fan.  I don’t like him that much, and this won’t make me excited for his next album, but it is a pretty damn good effort overall.  This is the second album in a row by an artist I don’t particularly like being decent (Rick Ross the other).  I think Ross’s album is better – but this is a nice surprise.

If you are a Joey fan you will love this, if you aren’t I’d say you should still give it a peek.

Production Credits

1. Scram Jones
2. Cool & Dre
3. Just Blaze
4. DJ Infamous
5. DJ Infamous
6. Scoop DeVille
7. Cool & Dre
8. Scoop DeVille
9. Raw Uncut
10. Raw Uncut
11. Streetrunner
12. DJ Premier
13. Cool & Dre



  • Lmtorres83

    THIS ALBUM IS ALOT BETTER THAN I EXPECTED!! U SHOULD LEARN NOT TO BE SO BIASED WHEN REVIEWING ALBUMS, U SEEM LIKE A 50 CENT DICK RIDER THATS AFRAID TO SAY U LIKE A FAT JOE ALBUM! HE AINT PAYIN YOUR BILLS HOMIE!!

  • boom

    Shut up Fat Joe if you weren’t rich and famous you’d wife the first “hoe” that let you sniff her underwear.

    LOL good1..will be reading more in future

  • Thanks for the comment. Hopefully some more new music drops soon.

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