Headway 2.0 – SUPER SNEAK PEEK!

Headway Sneak Peek

The recent Headway 1.7 beta along with it’s GPL announcement has a lot of people buzzing on the web.  While the Headway theme for WordPress was already revolutionary, it really got a boost in popularity thanks to the social media world.

1.7 offered us great new additions like auto upgrade, columns, search bar navigation, more design options and a quicker and more responsive interface.  It has a lot of people excited about where Headway will go from here.

Luckily, I got to take a SUPER sneak peak at Headway 2.0 (Codename: Themezilla).  I was sworn to secrecy but I think the people deserve to know what the future of the Headway theme holds.  I hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass, but here is a top secret look at a mere 10 of Headway 2.0’s new features.  Hold on to your hats…

1. The Headway Visual Editor will make use of current technology by becoming fully integrated with pen and tablet set up: You can now draw your website!

2. Headway will include new powerful S.E.O capabilities which include (but are not limited too):

  • Ability to get accepted into DMOZ with one click.  No more months of waiting!
  • Automatic Google Sandbox Protection. No more fearing the slap!
  • Automated backlink generator. Turn on the automated generator and Headway will create backlinks in a natural manner behind the scenes.
  • Headway offers cutting edge coding, that will actually have your post indexed by Google, before you finish writing it!

3. Flash/HTML5 Editor: Now drag and drop elements to create Flash intros in only minutes!  Even better, convert any Flash file into HTML5 with the click of a button.

4. Headway Monitoring: You can now set up Headway to monitor your site.  If there is an issue with your site you will be notified via text.  If someone tries to hack your site, they authorities are informed and that IP is locked down.  Also, Headway will send you timely texts if you run low on beer of if you are near a police radar.

5. Headway X-ray Features:
Remove those pesky clothes from the people in your sites images.  One click control will allow you to remove the clothes of all people in all images.  Note: You can also filter this by age, sex and body type.

6. Instant Viral Sensation Leaf: For an added cost (nominal) you can get the latest add on leaf, any video or blog post used in this leaf will instantly be a viral sensation.  You can expect shows like Tosh 2.0, Talk Soup and Howard Stern to mention your viral post within 48 hours.

7. Aggressive Donation Leaf:
A lot of bloggers love adding a donation leaf to their website.  This way their loyal followers can make a donation that can help cover their costs.  The one problem is how cheesy it is, and it is never effective.  Well that is a problem of the past.  Enabling this leaf will mean your website traffic will be subject to threatening emails and phone calls until they donate.  In the toughest of situations they will receive a face to face meeting with Mongo Griffiths, the 6’7″ 350lb member of the Griffiths clan.

8. Enhanced Start Up: Every time you enter the Headway Visual Editor a random audio clip will play.  The audio clips are taken from the Wu-Tang Clan Collection.

9. Headway didn’t stop at GPL compliancy: 2.0 will also be fully recognized by the AAA, BBC, NAACP, NCAA and 3 of the four major sports leagues MLB, NBA and NFL.  The NHL is still rolling with Thesis.

10. Headway Pornography Escape: Headway will sense when your mother, father, wife, boss or family priest is within 3 steps of your bedroom and all pornography will be instantly hidden by the Headway visual editor.

I am personally pretty excited!  I think Headway was an obvious choice at 1.6 and it only got better with 1.7.  I think that the Headway 2,0 release will garner more media attention than ever.  I can’t wait for the beta release.  In fact, I could have used it about 45 minutes ago when my brother’s girlfriend opened my door without knocking.

Headway Themes — Is Your Website Making Headway?

  • LOL. Funny ending man.
    That sounds awesome. I Can think of a TON of clients who are going to get massive value from this stuff as it becomes readily available.

  • lmao. It all sounds very believable.

    Tho I don't believe that bit about wishing you weren't sprung by your bro's gf... :D

  • LMAO Good call Chris. Somehow you know me well!

  • *SNORT* this is awesome.

  • Thank you - it's what happens when you are stuck for content and it is 1 am.

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