Offering a Vegetarian Meat

I think we need a moratorium on something… It is time that a certain style of humor dies.  Not even a style as much as a single joke.

I personally think ANYTHING can be joked about, but I am now letting you all know that a certain joke is dead and gone.  It isn’t due to bad taste or anything like that…it is just because the joke has ran its course been said a million times and is not funny anymore.

Offering a vegetarian meat is DEAD!

It isn’t funny anymore…was it ever?  I am DEFINITELY not a vegetarian…but I do know a couple vegetarians and vegans and this joke destroys me.

“OMG vegetarians don’t eat meat, so let’s offer them a ham sandwich!  It will be hilarious because it is meat and they don’t eat that!!!!”

It isn’t hilarious – the chuckle from the people around you is nothing but a polite gesture.

I honestly cringe when people do this now – it is so painfully unfunny to me.  I used to do it myself, I also used to laugh when people did it.  That was the first 9 million times though – now it is soooo played out.

This isn’t some plea on behalf of the vegetarians out there – I am not supporting their cause.  I just don’t care what they eat…I DO care about funny though.  When jokes are overdone they should be put to rest like a race horse with a broken leg.

I know that people who make these jokes will say: ”People still laugh when I say it”. If you get anything more than a polite chuckle – it only means that the person laughing is as lame as you.  The laughter doesn’t lift you up, it just puts you and the laugher on the same low low level of funny.

On the scale of funny, offering meat to a vegetarian ranks somewhere slightly above According to Jim, and slightly below Dane Cook.  That is a BAD look.

You know when you have a powdered drink to mix up and you stir the hell out of it, but at the end there is still that clump of crap that is too sickeningly sweet to even think about drinking? That is what the vegetarian meat joke is…the dregs of comedy.

Let’s retire that joke! Be creative!  Don’t offer a vegetarian meat…offer them hilarious things like…a birch bark canoe…or a cedar rail.  Meat is played out.

What YOU eat don’t make ME shit
-Jay-Z-

The Man The Myth The Legend



  • Ashley Van Donna Meter

    I'd love to be offered something creative, and I would laugh if someone told me I can just grab my dinner from the front yard.

    But it's so true. It happens to me too often for me to laugh... . Anybody with a decent sense of humor can see that it's an empty joke. It's like offering a Nutter Butter to someone with peanut allergies. Totally empty.

  • I appreciate this joke not being played on me. I am a Vegan and I don't have any major problem with meat eaters but I definitely don't want it in my face.

    Thanks Ted

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