Whenever I haven’t posted to the blog in awhile – it usually means I can’t think of anything to write. Luckily, I am a cynical prick who gets miffed very easily at common things. So I can usually bang out a things that are stupid kind of post. Soooooo….
Things that are Stupid.
One Ply Toilet Paper – I have said it before and I stand by it. Anyone who purchases this stuff for their home (a business is different…I GUESS) is an uncaring jerk. Honestly, that is what you want your family and friends wiping with? Scratchy toilet paper that is liable to tear apart! Nothing is worse than the finger puncturing the one ply. Horrible. If this is what you stock in your house, you are a jerk.
“Rap is Crap” – Yeah people STILL say this. Wow, so clever, you totally rhymed rap WITH crap. Crazzzzzzy, I would have never thought of those two words rhyming, until you totally said that. Cool. Yeah I am sure this rap thing is just a fad. I mean it will die out any day now. You will be soooo smart when your prediction from 1979 eventually comes true. Shut up and go listen to your Rascal Flatts.
Lottery at Express Lines – The local Foodland has an express lane – besides the fact no one respects express lanes, Foodland decided to put their lottery kiosk at the express lane. Do stores know what express means? If they knew the actual definition of express they wouldn’t have done that. Express means rapid and efficient. It doesn’t mean sitting with melting ice cream while some Blue Hair is checking her 755 lotto tickets and casually browsing through the impressive Instant Bingo selection. That isn’t express!
MMA Shirts – Alright seriously enough. We totally get it – you casually train once a month at some hole in the wall gym. Cool. Or better yet – you don’t train MMA, but you watch it so often you think you have a pretty good grasp of it. You don’t. If you don’t have cauliflower ears you can’t wear an MMA shirt. That’s the rule.
Current Right Wing Politics in the USA – Don’t want to offend here but SHUT UP! We get it, you are sore losers who want to cry about everything – but please just stop. Obama is not racist, he isn’t an alien, he was born in the USA and he isn’t a Nazi. Anyone who compares the current US politicians as Nazi’s are really doing an injustice to themselves and to the millions of Jewish people who suffered at the hands of the Nazi regime. Totally classless. I saw a prent CRYING because Obama was going to DARE talk to her kids about setting goals and staying in school…he is sooo devious. A president to talk in schools – that is unheard of! It hasn’t happened since…oh yea the last president..Bush. No outrage then. A black president should have been a sign of the times changing and evolving, instead the denizens of the USA’s armpit have rose up to prove that ignorance still rules the day. Oh yeah the drug war, stem cell research restrictions and battle against gay marriage – are asinine and people in the future will laugh at you when they are reading about that in history texts.
Facebook Application Updates – To all my dear facebook friends and to the makers of facebook applications everywhere. I don’t care. I just don’t and I don’t think anyone does. I do not care when facebook predicts you to get pregnant, die or get married. I don’t want to join your Mob, Zombie Army or quaint farm. I do not care which Simpsons, Twilight, Sex in The City or Harry Potter character you are. NO ONE CARES. Stop poking me too.