The Great Mosquito Hawk Scandal

crane_fly

Ya know how when you are a kid, you are kind of crushed emotionally at certain times?  I mean in terms of people telling you something and then finding out it wasn’t true. I don’t mean things like “Oh hey we are going to the Zoo next week” and then the plans falling through…although that sucks, it isn’t what I mean exactly.

I am talking about things like finding out Santa Clause is fake or that the lady from Romper Room can’t really see you through her magic mirror (sidenote, as a kid I wouldn’t watch that show in my underwear just in case she could).  The good thing is, kids are pretty easy going.  When we find out something, we may be temporarily crushed, but then we hear the ice cream truck or something and we forget.

What really grinds my gears is finding out something was straight BULLSHIT when you are already an adult.

Why did no one tell me the truth about “Mosquito Hawks”?  Did anyone else even get fed the bull crap Mosquito Hawk story?  Anyways – you know those bugs that look like huge mosquitos, they fly kind of haphazardly?  Well I was always told as a kid that they were Mosquito Hawks and ate mosquitos.

“OH TED DON”T KILL THE MOSQUITO HAWK IT EATS MOSQUITOES!!!”

So although this thing freaked me the hell out…a giant mosquito looking thing that’s flight was so awkward it reminded me of the girl crawling down the stairs in the Exorcist.  I learned to live with it – and not kill them.

Here I am like 20 years later, checking out Wikipedia when I saw a “Mosquito Hawk”.  I decided to check it out on WIki.   Welllll I was crushed!  These damn things aren’t Mosquito Hawks!  In fact Mosquito Hawks aren’t really a thing at all!   A couple random bugs are mistakenly called “Mosquito Hawks”.

These gangly, barely flying moronic bugs are actually Crane Flies…yeah Crane Flies.  I could have been swatting these pricks for YEARS.  I mean what the hell I LOVED the idea that a bug that looked like a  giant mosquito ate other mosquitoes – just struck me as a cool ecological thing.

But no, all these years these Crane Flies have been sucking back nectar and laughing at my ignorance.

The Man The Myth The Legend



  • Benrag

    ha! sucking back nectar and laughing at your ingnorance.... i like that, I'm going to kill a few of them just for you.

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