Why I Hate TMZ


I don’t get TMZ.

Actually scratch that – on a related note I HATE when people say “I just don’t get…” something.  Especially when it is about like a simple comedy or something.

Alright, I can understand you “just don’t get” a Wes Anderson film.  But when you say “You just don’t get…” Superbad – it makes me want to throttle you.  WHATS NOT TO GET.  Teen boys on a hilarious quest to get laid – the basic premise of thousands of movies since the dawn of time!  There is nothing not to “get”.  If you don’t like it – say “I don’t like this.”  If you can’t “get” Superbad you are a moron.

So “I get” TMZ – I understand its allure – I just hate it.

I am not sure what drives me crazy about it really.  There is just a kind of smarminess that drives me insane.   I am talking specifically about the TV show.

I don’t have a huge problem with the idea of the paparazzi.  Although, I personally don’t care that much about the real life of celebrities – and maybe that is why I hate TMZ.  The thing is, I also don’t care that much about the privacy of the famous, so this isn’t really a moral issue for me.

I think it comes down to the fact that the personalities on TMZ are LAME.  I don’t find them that funny – a lot of the jokes they say don’t even make sense.  I wish I had some real examples of what I mean, but I avoid the show so I can’t think of many.

I do remember one about a week ago they were going off about Britney Spears…because lord knows, we haven’t heard enough shit talking about Britney recently.  It is like we are in a Britney shit talking recession.  The Britney shit talking has been at all time lows, we need TMZ to bump it back up to 2006 levels.

Anyways they were going off – because Britney showed up at a Target, walked into the store and pushed a cart around and left.  This was huge news to them – a sure sign that Britney had lost it again….OR hey, maybe she left the store because a bunch of dirty weirdos were following her around with cameras?  Or in TMZ’s case, following her with cameras and asking “hilarious” questions.

Every time I have watched the show they are making mountains out of mole hills.  They will sit around laughing about something, creating their own scenarios of why it is hilarious and I will be sitting there thinking “Well, maybe that guy found your question about the furby craze (insert other inane questions they ask) stupid and that is why he didn’t answer”.

Another thing that kills me is – who are you people?  Why do I want to hear your opinions?  You guys are weird and socially awkward.  I can’t explain my disdain for these people – there is just something very annoying about them.  They talk so much shit about people – yet the people they attack are like 1 million more times successful than them.

That is it – I can’t stand them because they are haters. Simple as that – they don’t come off funny and charming to me – they come off as bitter and weird.  I wouldn’t hang out with them at a party, so I can’t hang out with them on my TV screen.

That is why I hate TMZ.

The Man The Myth The Legend

  • The Walrus

    Couldn't agree more. TMZ represents a low in American broadcasting.

  • jorge

    Parasitism is a non-mutual symbiotic relationship between species, where
    one species, the parasite, benefits at the expense of the other, the
    host. i believe this describes TMZ

  • bbm

    their all dorky ass fags i hate em too

  • The Walrus


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