Ya Know What Bugs Me?

Earwigs, ew.

Seriously, outside of junebugs, earwigs are the worst creatures ever.

Whatever animal eats earwigs, please ship them by the crate to my backyard. If someone told me the only thing that ate earwigs were junebugs… well, my head would explode.
I think I would still unleash a flock of junebugs into my backyard. At least they die off after like a month or two. Earwigs stalk me all summer long.

I wonder why people (i.e. ME) are so disgusted or fearful of bugs. With me, I am not afraid of ALL bugs either. I pick and choose the ones to truly loathe. It is weird because there is no real logic to the bugs I choose to hate. Obviously ladybugs don’t bother me, but there is a good reason for that…they don’t look real gross. Also bumblebees don’t bother me, which also makes sense because they have that huggable aspect to them. Don’t laugh at that either, imagine how soft a giant bumblebee would be. Plus if a bumble stings you, it dies. So based purely on poetic justice, bumblebees are alright with me.

Besides the obvious bugs people don’t mind though, it is really random as to what bugs I like or don’t like. I am using the word “like” loosely of course.

For instance, take the praying mantis; no doubt that dude is pretty gnarly looking. It just looks like a bug not to be messed with. I have no problems with them. If dozens of them were marching towards me, yeah I might get up and go inside rather quickly, but one on one, I wouldn’t flinch.

On the other hand, daddy longlegs, which have to be the friendliest and least threatening of all the spiders, freak me right out. I am not sure why. I think it is because they have those long legs – it makes me think they could jump really high. A spider on the ground has nothing on me. I can easily step on it if I have to. A spider that can jump though…well now it is a fair fight. I don’t like those odds. People have pet tarantulas, HUGE and poisonous spiders, with fangs! Not one person I have ever heard of has had a pet daddy longlegs…not one! Now, you can call that a coincidence, but I’ll call that “Exhibit A”.

I think a lot of unreasonable fears like this stem back to childhood to. Now I am no psychologist, so I can’t be sure on this. What I do know is that I spent most of my formative years hearing “Horseflies can bite a chunk right out of ya!” Guess who is afraid of horseflies? Exhibit B.
I have to admit I am using the term afraid pretty loosely as well. I am not really afraid of these bugs as much as generally creeped out by them. I don’t act all crazy if I see one, I can walk by them. I just might jump if one lands on me, or I might be responsible for murder if someone throws one on me.

That reminds me of a story. For years my family has said that i am afraid of snakes. Their reasoning behind this is because one time my brother had a snake and chased me with it. I am not at all afraid of snakes. I don’t mind them one bit. However, I am quite a bit afraid of a 10 year old with a rat tail, front tooth missing and an evil glint in his eye, running at me while brandishing a snake. I think we can all see the difference there.

  • Justin Popovic

    **CHANTING** We want Saturday's 500! We want Saturday's 500! We want Saturday's 500!

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